Year 2007, I have a job as a cook in a nursing home. How did I got this job will be another whole story to tell. Anyways. I really enjoy cooking to start the story. It's my wife Shirley who got me into the cooking job when Shirley was working in a care home with the family run care business . She was doing an NVQ course on caring for elderly and she was scheduled to do the cooking on that day because they resident cook was on leave. Shirley liked the job but she's thinking of giving the job to me because she knows I'm already tired of doing waiting jobs and she knows that I like cooking a lot and maybe she liked the idea that we will be working together in one place. I really liked that idea too, but that means she would go back to the job she hates, taking the elderly to the toilet and washing them. That's how generous Shirley is to me, She is generous generally to almost everyone.
The care home was run by a family , they were nice to me, but it seems like to the other employees they seem to be really rude and always very arrogant to their staffs and that goes to Shirley too. For some reason these 2 brothers hated the girl employees. The job was easy, it was a huge kitchen though. There were 2 dishes I have learned to cook 2 , well, the 2 brothers thought me. That was roasting a leg of lamb and shepherds pie, and while cooking I would play Coldplay in the kitchen and the brothers loved it. One day 1 of them suggested that, what if I go to a school to do a course. He said that I can make good money with this job. Shirley left the job and so did I. I don't know if I have listened to their advice because eventually I found myself in a NVQ course in cookery in Westminster Kingsway in Victoria. I managed to get myself in a Level 2 course while doing a job in a bigger Nursing home in Vauxhall. Then I enrolled in level 3 with the same group I was with in Level 2. I have learned some stuff, and met different kinds of people. Some of them I really hate, some of them of them people that I admired as a chef. Most of them are just people that always wants to show off. I was the odd balls, the guy that is always quite in one corner. I got through it.
Then, I finally decided to apply for a real chef job, and got a call from the Exec. Sous chef in Marriott hotels in St. Pancrass in Kings Cross for a trial shift. I remember how nervous I am. The chef made me cook a tray of rice. I didn't do well, that was expected. I was used to cook rice in a rice cooker. In a professional kitchen, they would make you cook rice in a gastronomic tray in a combi oven. That was all new to me. But I was applying for a Commis chef position so, they are not expecting that much from me anyway. I got the job, but have been assigned to do breakfast service in ala carte menu with other younger chefs. You have to get up very early, around 4:30 am and make your way to catch the night bus. I am scheduled to start at 6 am. I didn't like most of the people I worked with in that place, it's either they are arrogant or just plain rude people. I guess it's always like that if you are new and specially if you don't know that much and considered a new fish. I proved myself and gained respect from my colleagues and became friends with some of them in the long run. I stayed in that job for more than 2 years. Then decided to leave St. Pancrass and took another job in Marriott Hotels and gained more experience as I went on. I even joined agency jobs and have gained a lot of experience from the jobs I did. Being an agency chef is something different. They send you in different places and different kitchens. I saw a lot of things and learned from it. But the drawback is, you tend to be get stuck with it and have been since a part time chef sort of. I noticed that I can't hold a job after that, I was always asking and demanding for better deals with it comes to jobs I was becoming a bit picky. Always not happy to where I was working. I became a bit almost like broke in a way, doing some jobs here and there but not in a full time job. Now, I'm trying to get into a new full time job that will sustain me...I hope I will find that place soon.. Shirley is always there to support me. She's always patient with me. And I loved her more for that. And they journey continues.
Friday, 9 February 2018
Thursday, 8 February 2018
I shit my pants!
I was looking for the way out after watching the movie "Lucy" ,when i felt a slight grumbling inside me, it didn't worry me thinking that, I'll just fart it out and it'll be OK and hopefully I can hold it there until I reach home and there I can deal with it...
I boarded the bus and sat comfortably with a blond beauty sitting in front of me. It's approximately 45 minutes ride and a 10 minutes walk after I get off the bus. So I felt relaxed and just looked obliviously at the window.
Bored, I decided to take out my phone and check if someone messaged me. Checked on my facebook, nothing.
I put it away, reaching for my pocket to slide my phone in, and I felt something moved inside my belly, and very quickly it is increasingly becoming an uncomfortable feeling., something is desperately screaming to come out. I realized that this is not a normal cramping, it is something i haven't felt in a long time, something urgent ... This turd wants to come out to see the world!!!
What do I do? I'm not even half way there. I don't see any establishment that hopefully would have toilet seat that I need, This is the mother of all desperations in life. Forget all kinds of bad troubles you've been in. That is all nothing compared to this. This is a matter of life or death.
I'm starting to sweat and having goosebumps everywhere my body. I imagine my intestines are pulsating and about to burst. And every feces inside are in the cue and asking one another... " what's the hold up? " We are all ready to gooooo!!!!!!
I can't see my face but I know that I'm light-years from looking normal. I bet I was looking so suspicious like a terrorist about to press the button of the bomb strapped to my waist. I noticed an old nigerian guy is staring at me, wondering why I look like that. I looked away and try to think only nice thoughts.
In every cramps and twist my gut does, I'm clenching my fist, cursing every food that I ate moments ago, Damn you Chocolate Milk shake! ( that i bought in waiterose, before getting inside the cinema ) Damn you! peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! ( that I ate before I left the house ). I tried not to make any sudden moves. I need to suck this in and pull through this situation. I tried slow breathing techniques, meditation, I prayed to Gods. Nothing worked.
This is gonna be brutal! I need to hold it in for some more minutes hoping to see any signs of a possible place where I can get off the bus and to do serious crapping. It's still far from the nearest public toilet that I know. This is truly a serious impending disaster, this adversity that I'm in. Imagine, if this load of smoldering excrement spew out of my anus? Goodbye to my social life. I need to change address, worst, I will have to leave the country. Imagine seeing your own video on you tube shitting all over the bus and people disgusted with you. That will be very disastrous.
To where i'm sitting is a beautiful blond girl ( not knowing to what I am going through ) and in bus full of people, all equipped with their smartphones with HD capable videocams, so happy to take a video of others misfortunes, and with the few clicks and touch. I will be the next social media hit.
I was determined to sit tight and hang on for dear life. There are times that I thought it would be a bit of relief if I release some wind, but I remember a saying that says " Never trust a fart" so I suffered some more.
I felt a temporary relief when the bus finally reached a bus stop which I know I can find a toilet, maybe it a the nastiest toilet bowl in the world, I haven't been as desperate for a loo as this.
The bus stopped, I struggled to get up without exploding and keep it in. I managed to get down the stairs, and walked towards the exit door like Bambi. As soon as I got down the bus, like a pregnant woman on labor I turned my head to find a place to abort an unwanted child. Finally! I saw Sainsbury's logo! I was pretty sure that they've got a toilet inside. I need to cross the road and a good 1 minute walk to get there. This time the belly grumbling is really intense, I remember that moment in time that I didn't care about anything, all of my anxiety and my worries in life didn't exist. All I care about is to shit, and everything is just a background. I had to reach the other end of the road, I didn't care about getting smashed by a truck trying to cross the road, as I walked the road like the terminator, there is a sense of urgency now and was determined to reach the toilet door I made it to the toilet door and was really lucky that it's not occupied. My pants down to my has got some shit in it so I carefully took it all off and finished my business in that dirty public toilet. There was a young man waiting for me to finish which I think it's not in some sort of emergency situation like me., so i made him wait for his turn and took my time. I guess he noticed that I took my shoes off because he can see it looking at the floor. He asked, " dude, why you don't have your shoes on?" I ignored him. I came out of the toilet and saw the young man with his friends giggling at one corner of the supermarket. I didn't even looked at them again, waved at Shirley who';s waiting for me and we left and I felt really relieved. I thanked God that it didn't gotten worse that it already is.
I boarded the bus and sat comfortably with a blond beauty sitting in front of me. It's approximately 45 minutes ride and a 10 minutes walk after I get off the bus. So I felt relaxed and just looked obliviously at the window.
Bored, I decided to take out my phone and check if someone messaged me. Checked on my facebook, nothing.
I put it away, reaching for my pocket to slide my phone in, and I felt something moved inside my belly, and very quickly it is increasingly becoming an uncomfortable feeling., something is desperately screaming to come out. I realized that this is not a normal cramping, it is something i haven't felt in a long time, something urgent ... This turd wants to come out to see the world!!!
What do I do? I'm not even half way there. I don't see any establishment that hopefully would have toilet seat that I need, This is the mother of all desperations in life. Forget all kinds of bad troubles you've been in. That is all nothing compared to this. This is a matter of life or death.
I'm starting to sweat and having goosebumps everywhere my body. I imagine my intestines are pulsating and about to burst. And every feces inside are in the cue and asking one another... " what's the hold up? " We are all ready to gooooo!!!!!!
I can't see my face but I know that I'm light-years from looking normal. I bet I was looking so suspicious like a terrorist about to press the button of the bomb strapped to my waist. I noticed an old nigerian guy is staring at me, wondering why I look like that. I looked away and try to think only nice thoughts.
In every cramps and twist my gut does, I'm clenching my fist, cursing every food that I ate moments ago, Damn you Chocolate Milk shake! ( that i bought in waiterose, before getting inside the cinema ) Damn you! peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! ( that I ate before I left the house ). I tried not to make any sudden moves. I need to suck this in and pull through this situation. I tried slow breathing techniques, meditation, I prayed to Gods. Nothing worked.
This is gonna be brutal! I need to hold it in for some more minutes hoping to see any signs of a possible place where I can get off the bus and to do serious crapping. It's still far from the nearest public toilet that I know. This is truly a serious impending disaster, this adversity that I'm in. Imagine, if this load of smoldering excrement spew out of my anus? Goodbye to my social life. I need to change address, worst, I will have to leave the country. Imagine seeing your own video on you tube shitting all over the bus and people disgusted with you. That will be very disastrous.
To where i'm sitting is a beautiful blond girl ( not knowing to what I am going through ) and in bus full of people, all equipped with their smartphones with HD capable videocams, so happy to take a video of others misfortunes, and with the few clicks and touch. I will be the next social media hit.
I was determined to sit tight and hang on for dear life. There are times that I thought it would be a bit of relief if I release some wind, but I remember a saying that says " Never trust a fart" so I suffered some more.
I felt a temporary relief when the bus finally reached a bus stop which I know I can find a toilet, maybe it a the nastiest toilet bowl in the world, I haven't been as desperate for a loo as this.
The bus stopped, I struggled to get up without exploding and keep it in. I managed to get down the stairs, and walked towards the exit door like Bambi. As soon as I got down the bus, like a pregnant woman on labor I turned my head to find a place to abort an unwanted child. Finally! I saw Sainsbury's logo! I was pretty sure that they've got a toilet inside. I need to cross the road and a good 1 minute walk to get there. This time the belly grumbling is really intense, I remember that moment in time that I didn't care about anything, all of my anxiety and my worries in life didn't exist. All I care about is to shit, and everything is just a background. I had to reach the other end of the road, I didn't care about getting smashed by a truck trying to cross the road, as I walked the road like the terminator, there is a sense of urgency now and was determined to reach the toilet door I made it to the toilet door and was really lucky that it's not occupied. My pants down to my has got some shit in it so I carefully took it all off and finished my business in that dirty public toilet. There was a young man waiting for me to finish which I think it's not in some sort of emergency situation like me., so i made him wait for his turn and took my time. I guess he noticed that I took my shoes off because he can see it looking at the floor. He asked, " dude, why you don't have your shoes on?" I ignored him. I came out of the toilet and saw the young man with his friends giggling at one corner of the supermarket. I didn't even looked at them again, waved at Shirley who';s waiting for me and we left and I felt really relieved. I thanked God that it didn't gotten worse that it already is.
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