17 Years

The title is not accurate for what the story entails. 17 years of hardship? just to be accurate. not all of it thankfully, but for the most of it Yes.  A chilly Sunday afternoon, Shirley just left the flat to attend Ate Delias birthday, I choose not to go with her as always.  Ever since I am extremely introvert, I still am. 17 years did something with my personality, rewired my brain in some way. I like my old self more I would say. I used to be the person who would bring the fun in anyones party, everybody enjoys being around me and I love being around people. Much simplier life before.  That will all change. Slowly at least.

Still fresh in my memories the first day I have landed into this country. Very anxious,  First time for everything it seems like.  It's even my first time to fly in a plane, first time to be in different country, first time to live in one roof with my parents. I was meeted by the airport exit gate by very excited mom and dad. Got in a private taxi with an Indian driver to get home. I sat at the front.  Dad was giving me a blue jacket thats has an imprint that says (New York) some sporty blue jacket "from your sister" he mentioned. It was perfectly fit, my sister always knows things I like. Right there I thought about her and missed her more right there. I wished she was there.

I was looking left and right staring and observing everything seems more tidy. No street children, no pile of garbage in the sides of the roads. The smell of air seems different too in my opinion.  I am looking at plants and grass and it looks like it somewhat different in some way. I am trying to absorb all of this while I am missing all the people I have left behind in the Philippines. I wanted the plane to take me back right there and then. If only I can. I am very weary of what's coming for me,  I'm not gonna lie

Around noon, We have arrived in a brown building it looks like. So this is where my parents lives. We went in and took the lift to 12 floor flat number 47. It was a small flat good only for 2 people. It has a toilet and a living room and a room, a tiny kitchen, a small storage room and that was it.   Everything is smaller than I was used to. Dad cooked some wings and rice with salad, they have a small dining table from Ikea I guessed. Clothes are hanged and I guessed drying from heating radiators. The chicken wings were delicious but didn't had much appetite for my mind is somewhere else, Inside me is saying I made a big mistake coming here a intense feeling of nervousness and sadness , now I am trapped.  I need to attend schooling in a university, I need to get in a part time job while doing Uni. In my mind, my mind is struggling to maintain all can do attitude., but slowly I am beginning to understand the reality of the situation I am in. I thought to myself. This will not going to be easy I suppose. 

 They let me sleep in the living room in the couch which is very comfy. I'm not a bed sleeper anyway.